alicamel

Here is my holiday with all the emotional and digestive incompetence edited out:

I really love my nieces, and it was good to spend a whole week with them. We built a lot of sandcastles and met a lot of donkeys.

I have 'do you want to build a snowman sandcastle' stuck in my head. I know two lines. I am dying.

(I watched Frozen. I physically cannot believe the sexy dress transformation that is supposedly Elsa's empowering moment of not caring what other people think. Disney can go fuck itself.)

I have a couple of days off work and a to do list of a million things. All I am actually going to do is read my book. I didn't take it on holiday because I knew I wouldn't be allowed to properly enjoy it. But now I'm home and I've missed it, and it's just so good, it's so much better than other books, I love it so much. Fitz is currently witbonding with a horse despite trying to explain that he definitely doesn't want that, and the horse is just like 'well it's no good not wanting me, we're brilliant together, I'm obviously your soulmate'. I have so many emotions. Fitz refused to let her know his name, so she's just read it from him, and is calling him Changer, which is what Nighteyes calls him, because it means Catalyst, which is what the Fool calls him, and which therefore is how he actually identifies. The Fool has bonded with a crow (<3) and keeps referring to Bee as 'our daughter' (<3333333333). Nighteyes lives in her head and calls her cub. I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH, they are the best fathers ever. (Or they would be, but one of them is dead, one of them is half dead, and one of them is Fitz.) The Fool asked him if Bee looked like him (the Fool) and Fitz immediately went 'no', and then started thinking about all the ways Bee looks exactly like the Fool and the Fool just laughed gently at him. I honestly don't understand the point of books that aren't sprawling fantasy novels about True Love. Fitz unravelled for a while and was just sending his emotions out to the whole castle, and now everybody has to politely pretend they don't know what a terrible mess he is. He let Kettricken feel how much Nighteyes had loved her and that was wonderful.

Day Eight: A song that makes you happy

I think my numbering has fallen awrong because I missed a question vaguely. But worse things.

All the songs I've been posting make me happy, I like songs that make me happy. I have a massive list of songs I could post for this one, but I ended up torn between Hey Baby and Hey Mickey, which are both so beautiful I could cry on them. I'm choosing Hey Baby only because I think I already covered the TRUE PURE HAPPINESS of the eighties in Green Door.



Ugh. It's such a stunning song, which is beautiful in its own right, and also beautiful in that it reminds me of patrick swayze. I know that nobody these days resists putting in the ooh, aah bits. Each to their own and all that, but it takes away everything that is full and lazy about the music, and if you prefer the other version you're basically soulless and you mean nothing to me.

I wasn't here because I had a terrible few weeks for either loads of reasons or not even any reasons. I can't decide.

-- Because I was already feeling very fuck everything, I went into a state of 'why on earth am I always so weird about food? Of course I can eat gluten free bread, maybe I'm not actually allergic to eggs, I can probably digest ice cream, I should eat less saturated fat because science is real'. And that lasted almost a whole casual week and now I'm in a sort of pale agony all the time. I'm full of headaches and codeine. My feet ache. I'm hollow, tired and desperate, and despite it I still just want pastries and milkshake, because it's really hard to eat properly when you are sick from eating badly.

-- I'm going on holiday with family tomorrow, so I have to get better instantly. I'm going to do it at three of the clock.

-- Rita's paw is hurt somehow and it might be her skin issues or might be Almost Anything Else. The vet has given her antibiotics, as a 'maybe this will work'. It hasn't worked, so we're going back this afternoon. I'm going to buy her the best dog food I can afford, because maybe that will work. (It won't work.) For the last few days if I pick her collar up she starts shaking in fear, as though I'm trying to kill her, not just take her for a walk. So we're not going out at all, I HAVE SO MUCH TIME IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. I keep putting a bandage on her when I go out so she won't lick at her paw. She keeps immediately taking that bandage off so that she can lick at her paw. We are both confused about why I bother.

TELEVISION

- I'm watching iZombie. I wasn't watching it because I had fully confused it with another show that I watched the first episode of years ago, and hated, and now I can't work out what show that might have been, but it's not iZombie, which I've been ignoring resolutely all its life for no reason. izombie has no one in it I super love, I can't imagine really really caring about it, but it's still quite nice and easy to watch and there are a whole three seasons of it.

- I'm also watching Saving Hope, which I've just ignored because you don't always need medical dramas in your life. But now I'm watching it when I can't sleep. It's Lois Lane and Daniel Jackson being doctors, but the twist is that for season 1 Daniel is in a coma, and he is a ghost around the hospital talking to other patients who are unconscious or dead. It's kind of rubbish but fine, you know? (I spend every second of every show being sad it's not Jeffrey from Chicago Hope haunting Aaron and begging him not to give up on him.) In season 2 he wakes up, but can still see ghosts, which sometimes they do quite interesting things with and sometimes they practically ignore. (He does a lot of talking to ghosts by pretending to be on his mobile which makes him look like Sam Beckett. Sam Beckett would have loved mobile phones.)